The Reactions of a Mary Sue
by TigerOfIthilien
Summary: Completely rewritten summary: 2 Mary Sues, one writing the other, both in Middle Earth, while one has one to two conflicting personalities that react to what happened to her in the past chapter. Includes Mary Sue/Legolas and Mary Sue/Aragorn, and many other slashes and cliches. Definitely a parody!
1. Chapter 1

** Anyone else here besides me craving a Mary Sue parody? **

***Lifts head proudly and looks around***

** … No? **

**Anyway… I hope you enjoy this (hopefully) parody of mine. Basically everything should be a parody. I'sabella's writing and I'sabella's story in general should have some parody in it. Bella's reaction is some a) comments on just the sentence-paragraph in general, or b) advice. Sort of. Actually, (heh), I hate to admit it… but most of Bella's reactions are from mistakes that I noticed in my own writing… XD**

**Also, the A/Ns are from I'sabella. Not from me.**

**((This)) is poor Bella's reaction. It is indeed bolded.**

Isabella Leah Evans looked up at her ceiling and sighed wistfully. She was seventeen years old, and she absolutely _loved_ Lord of the Rings.

Or rather, Legolas. You couldn't see her wall for pictures of them. She sighed again, turning over so that she could kiss her pillow cover (decorated with doodled hearts over the faces of Legolas)

It was eleven o'clock A.M, and she was not ready to get up. Well, maybe she was a _bit_ hungry, but she had shaken it off so that she could think about the two LOTR characters and decide which was her true love.

With an almighty sigh, she threw her covers off and stood up on her slim legs. She dressed in a fashionable t-shirt and new jeans, then sat down at her computer and clicked on her email bar.

She had three hundred new emails. A great day! She smiled and clicked on the first one, which was titled 'Look at wat i found!', and skimmed through the message.

OMG OMG, u hv got to c what I found!1!1! gues what, im makng FANFICITON!11!2! 4 realz! Srisly, its SO COL, u cn't belevie it!

Grumbling, I'sabella scrolled downwards. Her cousin was _so bad_ at writing.

Wondering if this 'Fanfiction website' were so hyped up as it seemed, she copied and pasted the link into the hotbar. Immediately, she was greeted by her cousin's page, but after a few minutes of surfing, she had decided to make a fanfiction account.

She clicked 'create account', and immediately set about customizing 'ReallyAwesomeLotrGal' with a profile. She made it absolutely clear that she was only writing about LOTR. She would write about no other.

Then, she started typing, her tongue between her teeth.

_I'sabella Enoby Sally Reyna Rose Cheryl Anna F'elica Jordan blinked open her beautiful violet-blue-silver eyes and sighed, a melodic sound._

_**((What is wrong with my name?))**_

_She suddenly looked around, fearful that her captor might have heard her. Unfortunately, he had. She cried out as he walked over and slapped her hard. He then drew a knife out and said, "Shut up, lady. Next time I'll throw you out in front of my carriage.." _

_He walked away, leaving Bella pressed against the wall. She had been his prisoner for years now, and she was waiting anxiously for rescue. Not that it would come, of course. (A/N : Wink wink! :D) _

_**((Sure. Nobody can guess what is going to happen…))**_

_Bella waited for him to leave, then looked out the window. She barely saw the flash of white fur that meant her faithful wolf was behind them. She smiled, enhancing her beautiful features._

_**((…I have a faithful wolf pet. Great.))**_

_She then stood and stretched, since there was enough room to in the large caravan. When her captor was gone, she could at least do that. He already kept enough from her._

_**((Like…? You know what, I don't want to know.))**_

Isabella smiled and tapped her fingers thoughtfully against her chin. Now that the horrific backstory was done, she could progress to her romance part. She typed a few more lines on how awful Bella's life was, then paused and sipped from her water glass. She stretched her fingers, and then placed them on the keyboard.

_His voice cracked like a whip, and Bella cried out as he hit her. "I warned you!" He hissed, and grabbed the back of her dress, throwing her off the caravan. She looked up at him, fear showing in her violet-blue-silver eyes as he drove the horses straight toward her. Some pain, a shrill laugh, then there was nothing. _

_**((Okay…?))**_

_The rasping wetness of a lick was what woke her, and she struggled back to consciousness like a fish out of water._

Isabella copied that line and pasted it into an email, sending it to everyone she knew. She absolutely loved that one line. It was perfect…

Now she needed to describe her. She would look like herself, of course. She wanted to be that girl.

_She looked like a regular maiden in distress. Her pure golden hair was absolutely perfect, even though she had just been in the dust, and she had absolutely no scars or wounds, even though she had just been run over by horses and a caravan. Her new, beautiful dress looked like it had just been out of the washing machine. _

_**((What's a washing machine?))**_

_Bella cried out, hoping for help, even though she was pretty sure it wouldn't come. She began to sob, cuddling her wolf, Luna White._

_**((Great. I can do absolutely nothing about this…))**_

_Suddenly, a thunder of hooves startled Bella, and she twisted around, her face lighting up as she saw a white horse bearing down toward her. She stood up and waved her arms, calling out, "Here I am! Help!"_

_**((…*facepalm* So the white horse is automatically good?))**_

_Sure enough, it was a handsome warrior, with long blond hair and… pointed ears! Bella gasped, sure that this was an elf._

_**((Again. The ears (which Tolkien never even mentioned) are now the defining characteristic of elves.))**_

_His sky blue eyes lit upon Bella, and she felt their souls connect… she could never be without him… _

_**((Whatever his name was.))**_

Isabella yawned. She hadn't realized how late it was, and she still had homework to do! She checked her watch, and then decided she could do it later. Whatever, homework was not as important as this. With a smile, she continued working.

_The elf-man put his arm out and allowed her to swing up onto the horse's back. Bella practically melted against him._

_**((What? Why did he let me get on behind him… without knowing if I was an assassin or something? Also… melted. Why would I melt against him? That would be… completely awkward.))**_

_He spurred his horse forward, then began speaking. "I know, maiden, that you are the Chosen One, and you will save us from Sauron, so here, take this Completely Magical Amulet of Awesomeness from my bag. Put it around your neck, and you will be powerful._

_**((Yay! I'm the Chosen One! Now gimme that amulet! …No.))**_

_Bella, her dainty fingers shaking somewhat, pulled open the bag and took out the first amulet she found._

_**((So there was more of them?))**_

_She placed it on her neck, letting it rest above her chest while the chain pulled at her neck. _

_**((Yay! I have a floating amulet! Also, let me refer this sentence to the Department of Redundancies Department.))**_

_Immediately, she felt a surge of power. She could read the elf-man's mind! But she didn't want to eavesdrop on his mind, of all things! Instead, she contented herself with tapping him lightly on the shoulder._

"_What's your name?"_

_The elf-man bowed his head and said, "My name is Legolas Greenleaf." _

_**((Wait! No! Don't bow your head! You are riding a horse!))**_

Isabella giggled lightly from excitement. What an awesome cliffhanger! Bella was soooo awesome! She and Legolas would make such a good pair for romance – never mind that Legolas was an elf and Bella was a human; she would fix that later.

She uploaded it quickly and then turned off her computer, wondering if she'd have reviews in the morning.

**So… Whaddaya think? :D :D**

**Please review, tell me what you think! I hope it's… alright… at least. I will update as soon as possible.**

**Remember, the review button is your friend. :3**


	2. Chapter 2

**... I do not think that worked out. XD. Formatting differently this time so it's easier to read!**

**Also, posting the story without the added comments in first, then underneath it the story w/ the comments. (See if you can guess what Bella comments) Also, adding in stupid slashes, clichés, the like.**

** Now… here comes the **_**absolutely amazing**_** twist… to both stories!**

I'sabella woke and could hardly wait. She immediately got out of bed, tossing her extremely beautiful black hair, and logged onto her FanFic account with quick, deft fingers.

She had fifteen thousand reviews! She grinned, shyly of course because she was soooo kind.

She read the first one:

LegoAwsome - OMG OMG, soo awsome! I bet Leggo (my HERO!111!) is gonna b Bella's HUSBAND!111!2! Like, soo much beter then tha reel 1 by whateverhis name is!111!

BellasCool:D – i'm so glad tht i hd tha nikname BellasCol when i join, now i'm coll and its like evryon knows i like dis book! U r like, so amazing!

I'saCuz! – HIIII I'sabella! :D :D :D :D it's me your cousin right? U know? dont steel my spottlight though!1111!

"Oh!" Gasped I'sabella. Everyone liked it! She began to feel so humble and sweet. She smiled and replied to each one of them personally, then started writing out her story.

_(A/N) Thanks, guys, for reviewing! *blushes* Remember, this is based on the book! Not the movie – at all._

_Bella was still in the saddle, and was feeling absolutely fine._

_She cautiously reached forward and tapped Legolas on the shoulder; he turned and smiled at her, pulling the horse to a stop._

_ "What is it, milady?"_

_ "Oh, well…" Bella blushed. She was beginning to feel embarrassed, but asked anyway, "Do you have any food? I'm kinda hungry…"_

_ Legolas smiled. "Of course I do!" He took out some lembas bread. (A/N: What's lembas bread again? Isn't it that elf food?) _

_ "Here, I have two loaves, would that be enough?" He held out the bread._

_ "Oh, that would be great!" She ate one foot-long loaf in a matter of minutes. Then, she put the other one away for later. It would make a great snack, she decided, but it didn't really fill her stomach, maybe with some tomatoes or something._

_ They rode for another couple minutes in silence. Then, they were in a forest. Legolas commented that it was Mirkwood, and his palace was nearby._

_ "Oh, you'll get along great with Tauriel! She'll love doing your hair, and I think Arwen's coming over tonight, with Strider!"_

_ "Oh, that's awesome!" Mary Sue – whoops, Bella – said. "I heard that you were going to go out on a Fellowship quest with Frodo, right?"_

_ Legolas nodded. "Definitely! Maybe I can get you in; then we'll be able to fight the Ringwraiths with the upper hand!"  
_

_ Then, Legolas's castle came into view, and Bella went silent at the majestic sight. It was in an enormous courtyard, with men toiling to lift cannons. A moat surrounded it, and Bella saw the elves dressed in finery, walking between the lines of men, whipping them at whim._

_ "Oh, this is beautiful!" Bella whispered, hugging Legolas._

_ "Just wait until you see your room!" Legolas placed a kiss on Bella's lips, then lead her inside the castle. _

I'sabella was tingling again with excitement. She smiled and uploaded it to FanFiction. Oh, how she wanted to be Bella… She touched the screen, not leaving finger marks behind. Then, she felt a twist, and she was sucked into the screen, her laptop coming with her.

"Oof." I'sabella had fallen down, dust billowing around her. Her painted nails and fiery pink clothes stood out against the barren landscape. (At least for her. It was actually covered in trees, can you believe it?)

She immediately tugged open her laptop. She still had service, and the battery had this thing on it that said: System Forever Charged.

"Yay!" She said, her smile brightening the whole world. She saw that she had already received a new review on her story, never mind, read that later, she decided, and slipped her laptop into her backpack.

"If only I had a horse…" She thought. Immediately, a horse appeared in front of her. She looked at it, and then, though she had never had a ride in her life, she jumped onto it and they galloped away.

"Good job, SparklyTwilightEdwardDude!" She smiled and patted SparklyTwilightEdwardDude on the neck. He neighed, then sparkled in the sunlight because he had crystals under his skin.

"Oh, SparklyTwilightEdwardDude, you are so awesome!" I'sabella laughed.

Then, orcs came and surrounded them. I'sabella pulled out her gun and shot one, then karate-chopped the other.

"Orcs, no swiping!"

"Aww, man…" The orcs crept away like foxes.

I'sabella had many more encounters like this. And she had to ask a random dude which way to go to get to the castle. He stole all her items except for her laptop.

Then, I'sabella, crying soooo hard, finally got to Gondor's castle doors. They opened for her, even though she was a stranger, and she got in, and paid for her own room, even though she didn't have any money.

Then, a letter came to her and it said,

Dear I'sabella Leah Evans,

You have been invited to the top-secret meeting of the Council of Elrond. Please be there on Monday.

Love,

Elrond

I'sabella smiled and ran outside, shouting loudly, "Yay! I get to go to the Council of Elrond on Monday!"

Luckily for her, nobody heard, mostly because they were reading their own letters to get there.

**Time for Bella's Reactions!  
**

_(A/N) Thanks, guys, for reviewing! *blushes* Remember, this is based on the book! Not the movie – at all._

**((Bella: I will remember that.**

**Sue!Bella: Darn.))**

_Bella was still in the saddle, and was feeling absolutely fine._

**((Bella:A) No sores? Are you sure? Or is it just my magical floating redundant amulet…? B) Apparently I'sabella the Sue-Creator forgot my name…))**

_She cautiously reached forward and tapped Legolas on the shoulder; he turned and smiled at her, pulling the horse to a stop._

**((Bella: Well, at least he stopped the horse.))**

_ "What is it, milady?" _

** ((Bella: Oh, that's some love developing between us.**

**Sue!Bella: Yes, yes it is.))**

_ "Oh, well…" Bella blushed. She was beginning to feel embarrassed, but asked anyway, "Do you have any food? I'm kinda hungry…"_

**((Bella: Too bad my magical floating redundant amulet can't fix that. Legolas has to.**

**Sue!Bella: Well, Legolas is super hot so whatever. And stop calling my amazing magical amulet the… whatever you call it.))**

_ Legolas smiled. "Of course I do!" He took out some lembas bread. (A/N: What's lembas bread again? Isn't it that elf food?) _

** ((Bella and Sue!Bella together: Duh. ))**

_ "Here, I have two loaves, would that be enough?" He held out the bread._

**((Bella: Uh… yeah. Definitely. That would probably be good enough for a year.))**

_ "Oh, that would be great!" She ate one foot-long loaf in a matter of minutes. _

**((Bella: I spoke too soon.**

**Sue!Bella: Even I don't understand this. I must have a belly of extra proportions.))**

_Then, she put the other one away for later. It would make a great snack, she decided, but it didn't really fill her stomach, maybe with some tomatoes or something._

**((Both facedesk))**

_ They rode for another couple minutes in silence. Then, they were in a forest. Legolas commented that it was Mirkwood, and his palace was nearby._

**((Bella: Umm… Redundancy.))**

_ "Oh, you'll get along great with Tauriel! She'll love doing your hair, and I think Arwen's coming over tonight, with Strider!"_

**((Bella: *looks up* Completely canon. Of course Legolas knew Aragorn as Strider even before they met at the Council.**

**Sue!Bella: It creates tension.**

**Bella: You are insufferable.))**

_ "Oh, that's awesome!" Mary Sue – whoops, Bella – said. "I heard that you were going to go out on a Fellowship quest with Frodo, right?"_

** ((Bella: Must… Think… Happy… Thoughts… Even I'sabella the Insufferable Sue-Maker called me a Mary Sue.**

**Sue!Bella: I have lost all respect for her. Oh, missy, you need to remember to call I'sabella the Awesomely Great by her proper name! You are being disrespectful.**

**Bella: Mhm… Right…))**

_ Legolas nodded. "Definitely! Maybe I can get you in; then we'll be able to fight the Ringwraiths with the upper hand!"  
_**((Bella: Tenth Walker foreshadowing… now. **

**Sue!Bella: What's wrong with that?))**

_ Then, Legolas's castle came into view, and Bella went silent at the majestic sight. It was in an enormous courtyard, with men toiling to lift cannons. A moat surrounded it, and Bella saw the elves dressed in finery, walking between the lines of men, whipping them at whim._

**((Bella: Oh, yay! Now elves are slave drivers!**

**Sue!Bella: Whatever. Concentrate on the scenery.**

**Bella: …No.)) **

_ "Oh, this is beautiful!" Bella whispered, hugging Legolas._

_ "Just wait until you see your room!" Legolas placed a kiss on Bella's lips, then lead her inside the castle. _

**((Bella: Argh! I must use excess punctuation! How is this happening? Sue Influence!**

**Sue!Bella: I did absolutely nothing. I had nothing to do with this. I didn't enjoy that at all.**

**Bella: *didn't hear Sue!Bella at all* Pie… coins… gameslot… buses… catbus… *rambles on*)) **

** You know what? Tell me what you think of the new layout (and Sue!Bella.)**

** Click that review button! :D :D **


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